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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

In The present Month's Al-Qaeda Magazine: How to Make a Death Car [Terrorism]

Looking for new tips on how to best wage jihad against the decadent West? Check out the new issue of Inspire, the official English-language al Qaeda magazine—it's chock-full of great ideas for the at-home terrorist, including:

* "A random hit at a crowded restaurant in Washington, D.C., at lunch hour might end up knocking out a few government employees"
* Instructions on turning your pickup truck into "the ultimate mowing machine," by welding steel blades to the grill and "mow[ing] down the enemies of Allah" on the sidewalk "to achieve maximum carnage."
* How to make creepy cookies for Halloween

Oh, no, wait, that last one is from a different terrorist magazine.

Inspire is produced by an American-born terrorist named Samir Khan, who operates out of Yemen as part of al-Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula, and, as a company, it's already more valuable than Newsweek. Really, though, who are these guys kidding? The only way to get people to read magazines these days is Kim Kardashian nude pics.

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